90/10 principle by Steven Covey
May 27th, 2005 at 06:22pm
Recently, i came across this forward mail. (rather, the mail came to me :) ) Its supposedly by Steven Covey. Its worth reading and more importanly implementing….
Here it goes……….
90/10 Principle
By: Steven Covey
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let us use an example: You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started te rrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A. Did the coffee cause it?
B. Did your daughter cause it?
C. Did the policeman cause it?
D. Did you cause it?
The answer is “D”.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minute s early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
* Do you lose your temper?
* Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall Off)
* Do you curse?
* Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
* Do yo u try to bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.
Why are stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
We all must understand and apply the 9 0/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!
what say ??
Entry Filed under: Life
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13 Comments Add your own
1. KJ | May 28th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
Arjun,
have posted the hospital episode on my blog. cud not keep u in suspense anymore. :D
KJ
2. divya | May 30th, 2005 at 11:05 am
Hoy Arjun,
I strongly believe in the Forward you have posted about. Many people might “know” it logically, but when it comes to action, “something” stops them. I used to do that too. Till I did Landmark Forum conducted by Landmark Education. Now my actions and words match with perfect synchronicity!
3. Mohd Amir | November 20th, 2005 at 8:23 am
Is the author Mr. Steven Covey was the same author of ‘The 7 habbits of Highly Effective People’ - Dr. Stephen R. Covey?
4. kaushik m. oza | February 10th, 2006 at 4:50 pm (subscribed to comments)
one of the best book. i have learned to attune myself not to the weather of the day, but to the climate of the age.
5. niggzo | February 27th, 2006 at 3:01 am (subscribed to comments)
its ego that thats the frigging 90%
6. s.s .rohan | June 9th, 2006 at 8:25 am (subscribed to comments)
it’s great message to our present society. present have problems which are complex, if we can use this prinple we can solve lot of problems.
7. Srinath | June 15th, 2006 at 7:51 am (subscribed to comments)
What if a situation demands you to react strongly. I can see many situations(especially in the area of govt. services) where in you may need to be little harsh and pungent either verbally or in writing so that things fall in line next time when they provide service to others. Ofcourse there too you can keep your temper down and let the laxity in their service affect many more civilians. I can’t too selfish to look at my heart while i forgot the horrendous services provided by the government. Somebody need to rise voice and take reactionary step, even if it is going to spoil their day/life. Why can’t it be me. When you are overly concerned about your life you will stop reacting and start watching. But my friend if every one follows same we indians might have not in this position enjoying greater democracy after being liberated from British. Hope i made myself clear with the concept posted by you from Mr. covey’s book.
8. Srinath | June 15th, 2006 at 7:58 am (subscribed to comments)
The moral of the story, never practice something propounded based on the observations from the developed economy like USA.These principles applicable to few situations only.
Look at your sorroundings there is much more we can do and hence be aware of them and tryto be reactive to build a society that much stronger and better than USA.
Remember if USA was not reacted long back to the attrocities of UK(Refer Their independence struggle), it would have not been in ths position now.
9. PETER MTSHWENE | December 11th, 2006 at 6:03 am (subscribed to comments)
This principle really is a help out for me, because i came to realise that everything you do or thinj about is counter parted by your reaction for instance if you were to be hijacked & you dont panic or react in a way of threaterning the thief you are more likely to work out on that situation alive & unharmed that shows me that really our reactions are the pioneers of what we do or think ( Thanx Mr Stephen )
10. jesse | March 23rd, 2007 at 5:48 am (subscribed to comments)
wow! the principle reflects my philosophy in life. what’s happening in your life is the aftermath of the decisions you made. you’ll be the last one to decide for yourself on what youll gonna do or react to a certain situation.
11. Shurezni | July 23rd, 2007 at 12:57 am (subscribed to comments)
Hi,
I would love to have your book, please be kind enough to let me know how I can have it.
Thanks & Rgds,
Shereen
12. Zam Zam Nagujja | October 10th, 2007 at 8:32 am
the 90/10 principle was forwarded to me by a colleague at work last year. It is one of those things that i’m lucky to have read and i share it everyday with friends that i feel need it. That’s why i’m sending this message today as i was checking it on the net when i came across this connection.
90/10 works. I have ended up less stressful, most of the time and getting better explanation from people that i otherwise would have been annoyed with. It leads to better communication.
13. Mariana | July 19th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
This principle is wonderful it really works and helps people understand not to put the blame on others.
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